There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
