You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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