You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Quick, to the slutcave!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
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