so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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