Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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