im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
