I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
