Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
