And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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