Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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