After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Oh god it's open bar.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
