I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Randomize
