fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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