My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
