Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
