considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
