You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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