anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
