i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
