I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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