party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
