Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize