I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she told me i tasted like america
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
