so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
