Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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