addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I believe in your delicious
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
