on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
