The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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