I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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