i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
