We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Drake has all the answers
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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