Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize