I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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