i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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