is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize