how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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