halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
