Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
