her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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