No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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