In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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