The best revenge is premature balding
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
