Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
