He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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