Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
