What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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