My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize