just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize