Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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