I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
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