youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
