I just cut my nipple shaving
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize