I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
