i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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