The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
