drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
