Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
