i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
