I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize